so after i got settled down from the Chun in hospital incident, i tried to sit quietly and "re-evaluate" the point of me still living in this world cos srsly i cant find anything rational left for that.
● im screwed in school for not doing well. or just well enough. i can barely survive in this area.
● ive pushed aside my real friends to go on solo becos i think its just too cool. it gets a little too lonely in the fangirl world from time to time.
● my priority list have gone so wrong that i might not be able to go on anymore. yes. studies way down on number ten while "4th coming album" is on the top.
● the obsessions that ive been having is slowly eating me up from the inside and its really scaring the wits out of me. cos i barely do anything else other than drool and glued to the pc.
● ive been comparing real boys with maibois one time too many to realise that if i go on this way i might live alone for the rest of my life with 77 cats and listening to overplayed records.
● im starting to worry about someone who ive never spoken to, never met and never will meet in my entire life. for instance, THEM looking all groggy coming out from the plane.
● ive got my mind set to never marry anyone other than Jae♥ which brings it all back to living with 77 cats. cos i doubt this will happen - marrying Jae - in this lifetime and the next.
● i dont know how to stop this obsession becos i think it has brought out the monster within me. and the bitch, the bimbo, the witch and every other cruel creatures.
● maibois are like my daily drug which if i dont take in the sight of them for at least 5 minutes, i would go insane. NO, SRSLY. i tried ignoring them once and i couldnt sleep a wink for more than 24 hours.
i cant even talk, eat, or sleep normal like i used to. everything has to be accompanied by their song.
someone from lj asked me this a couple of days ago i had to dig it back, how have dongbang affected your life so far?
my answer-- im a pretty straight forward person so please bear with me and my probable essay. now lets see, strike out the "so far" so the question is left with "how have dongbang affected your life?"
to be honest, theres nothing left to be "affected" cos i really think, after being a fan for three and a half years, that ive given up my life and gave it to them 110%. it amazes me even when any one of them messed up with having very bad hairdos ive always manage to find something else in them to start loving. so it goes on till now.
i do think its impossible to not like them at this point after watching them maturing and growing up right in front of my own eyes even through screen. and too many times over the years, they made me feel happy and content. this has made me so attached to them that peeling myself away from it all would probably rip my heart into millions of micro pieces. it is also as if ive grown through the years with them even from the other side of the screen. and from the other side of the screen too ive cried happy tears while witnessing such beautiful moments that only one alike would understand.
i guess, theyve pretty much affected my life in so many ways imaginable that word cannot describe how much i appreciated the change. so its safe to say that from the moment i started to love them on, will be embedded in my memories forever.
nice? i guess its much more of a heart to heart spilling than of a "how have". *shrug* i mean, im an honest fangirl. i do whatever it takes to make sure other fangirls would love them for who they are and not just by mere looks. it saddens me to see all those comments like, "i love hero becos hes so hot and cute" or "the reason i love xiah is becos he laughs like a dolphin" or "i like yunho cos he can dance".
YES. i do agree on those facts. they are hot, cute, dances like crazy and one even laughs like a dolphin but arent they/you missing the whole point? what about their music? what about their personality?
WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT ACTUALLY GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CLAIM THAT THEYRE YOUR FAVOURITE?!
especially without knowing anything. do you know that the scar near yunho's eyes is becos of an accident he was involved in, wait, do you even know that he has that scar to begin with? do you know that junsu has a habit of calling his brother(from all over the world; wherever he is) over silly little things that happened? do you know that jaejoong is actually adopted and lives as the only boy in his adopted family? do you know that changmin loves food and eats like hes never eaten anything in his entire life? do you know how much it hurts yoochun to be separated from his brother? do you know? do you know?
DO YOU KNOW?! *annoyed*
i bet a lot do not. *smirk* sad isnt it. dont blame me. im just giving the idea. its up to those shallow, i-am-their-biggest-fan-but-i-know-nothing fangirls to decide. :]
just expressing my feelings. cos being stepped over by some stupid fangirl who just started to get to know the boys for 3 days is hjgfejhgajwhgdsajhgdjskh. and having them saying bad stuff about us "veterans" is too much aint it? *shakes fist* play nice in the fangirl world, youll be treated nicely in return. play otherwise, even the one you "claimed to be your favourite" wont give a damn.
okay. im done ranting for today. have a good weekend ahead!
● im screwed in school for not doing well. or just well enough. i can barely survive in this area.
● ive pushed aside my real friends to go on solo becos i think its just too cool. it gets a little too lonely in the fangirl world from time to time.
● my priority list have gone so wrong that i might not be able to go on anymore. yes. studies way down on number ten while "4th coming album" is on the top.
● the obsessions that ive been having is slowly eating me up from the inside and its really scaring the wits out of me. cos i barely do anything else other than drool and glued to the pc.
● ive been comparing real boys with maibois one time too many to realise that if i go on this way i might live alone for the rest of my life with 77 cats and listening to overplayed records.
● im starting to worry about someone who ive never spoken to, never met and never will meet in my entire life. for instance, THEM looking all groggy coming out from the plane.
● ive got my mind set to never marry anyone other than Jae♥ which brings it all back to living with 77 cats. cos i doubt this will happen - marrying Jae - in this lifetime and the next.
● i dont know how to stop this obsession becos i think it has brought out the monster within me. and the bitch, the bimbo, the witch and every other cruel creatures.
● maibois are like my daily drug which if i dont take in the sight of them for at least 5 minutes, i would go insane. NO, SRSLY. i tried ignoring them once and i couldnt sleep a wink for more than 24 hours.
i cant even talk, eat, or sleep normal like i used to. everything has to be accompanied by their song.
someone from lj asked me this a couple of days ago i had to dig it back, how have dongbang affected your life so far?
my answer-- im a pretty straight forward person so please bear with me and my probable essay. now lets see, strike out the "so far" so the question is left with "how have dongbang affected your life?"
to be honest, theres nothing left to be "affected" cos i really think, after being a fan for three and a half years, that ive given up my life and gave it to them 110%. it amazes me even when any one of them messed up with having very bad hairdos ive always manage to find something else in them to start loving. so it goes on till now.
i do think its impossible to not like them at this point after watching them maturing and growing up right in front of my own eyes even through screen. and too many times over the years, they made me feel happy and content. this has made me so attached to them that peeling myself away from it all would probably rip my heart into millions of micro pieces. it is also as if ive grown through the years with them even from the other side of the screen. and from the other side of the screen too ive cried happy tears while witnessing such beautiful moments that only one alike would understand.
i guess, theyve pretty much affected my life in so many ways imaginable that word cannot describe how much i appreciated the change. so its safe to say that from the moment i started to love them on, will be embedded in my memories forever.
nice? i guess its much more of a heart to heart spilling than of a "how have". *shrug* i mean, im an honest fangirl. i do whatever it takes to make sure other fangirls would love them for who they are and not just by mere looks. it saddens me to see all those comments like, "i love hero becos hes so hot and cute" or "the reason i love xiah is becos he laughs like a dolphin" or "i like yunho cos he can dance".
YES. i do agree on those facts. they are hot, cute, dances like crazy and one even laughs like a dolphin but arent they/you missing the whole point? what about their music? what about their personality?
WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT ACTUALLY GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CLAIM THAT THEYRE YOUR FAVOURITE?!
especially without knowing anything. do you know that the scar near yunho's eyes is becos of an accident he was involved in, wait, do you even know that he has that scar to begin with? do you know that junsu has a habit of calling his brother(from all over the world; wherever he is) over silly little things that happened? do you know that jaejoong is actually adopted and lives as the only boy in his adopted family? do you know that changmin loves food and eats like hes never eaten anything in his entire life? do you know how much it hurts yoochun to be separated from his brother? do you know? do you know?
DO YOU KNOW?! *annoyed*
i bet a lot do not. *smirk* sad isnt it. dont blame me. im just giving the idea. its up to those shallow, i-am-their-biggest-fan-but-i-know-nothing fangirls to decide. :]
just expressing my feelings. cos being stepped over by some stupid fangirl who just started to get to know the boys for 3 days is hjgfejhgajwhgdsajhgdjskh. and having them saying bad stuff about us "veterans" is too much aint it? *shakes fist* play nice in the fangirl world, youll be treated nicely in return. play otherwise, even the one you "claimed to be your favourite" wont give a damn.
okay. im done ranting for today. have a good weekend ahead!
