I promised I wont cry anymore. But it hurts so much I cant bear it anymore. I just had to. Because I miss him. So much. I know by now it's history but it was my fault anyways. I ended the whole thing. *shrugs* I don't know. Thinking about it makes me cry. So yeah.
Oh, someone not human obviously had a video of how Joe's car crashed into the wall(?). It was so scary. And I can see him clearly. All bloody and in pain. Why Joe why? Why didn't you seek for us when you need someone to talk to? Why do it the hardest way? I miss your lameness and your jokes. I miss having you calling me all the way from Holland just to say you missed me and called me baby. I miss all the warmth and the friendliness. I miss all that. It's too late now, aint it? I dont want to cry. But I missed you dearly.
My mum knows about my result. I can see the disappointment on her face. And it hurts me. I can feel the pressure now. Pressure directly for me and no one else in the house hold. It saddens me to see that the parentals are so laid back with my younger siblings. Sometimes I have to wake up in the middle of the night just to do some extra revising. I know no one knows this, but I do this. Because if I dont I feel like there's just something missing. Like I haven't accomplish anything. So sacrifice plays a huge role in my life.
And speaking of that, those sacrifices I have made are unintentional. It always ends up hurting someone. Someone I care for. Now it just happened. So, yeah. I guess there's something so much better that awaits me in the future. Who knows?
Bah, I'm going to have some time with my maths. Later!
p/s: I miss you so so so so much. I'm going insane and I'm talking about this guy who made most of my day a for a couple of weeks ago. ILYSM. I know you dont know this.
Oh, someone not human obviously had a video of how Joe's car crashed into the wall(?). It was so scary. And I can see him clearly. All bloody and in pain. Why Joe why? Why didn't you seek for us when you need someone to talk to? Why do it the hardest way? I miss your lameness and your jokes. I miss having you calling me all the way from Holland just to say you missed me and called me baby. I miss all the warmth and the friendliness. I miss all that. It's too late now, aint it? I dont want to cry. But I missed you dearly.
My mum knows about my result. I can see the disappointment on her face. And it hurts me. I can feel the pressure now. Pressure directly for me and no one else in the house hold. It saddens me to see that the parentals are so laid back with my younger siblings. Sometimes I have to wake up in the middle of the night just to do some extra revising. I know no one knows this, but I do this. Because if I dont I feel like there's just something missing. Like I haven't accomplish anything. So sacrifice plays a huge role in my life.
And speaking of that, those sacrifices I have made are unintentional. It always ends up hurting someone. Someone I care for. Now it just happened. So, yeah. I guess there's something so much better that awaits me in the future. Who knows?
Bah, I'm going to have some time with my maths. Later!
p/s: I miss you so so so so much. I'm going insane and I'm talking about this guy who made most of my day a for a couple of weeks ago. ILYSM. I know you dont know this.
