Okay, I know my posts had been pretty emo. Like for the past 6 days? Yeah. Life's like that.
You do something stupid and then you'll regret it 5 years later. FIVE.
And because of this, I got;
a super kick right at the ass from my cousin.
called stupid for the gazillionth time by my cousin's sister.
screamed at of kjlhdkhjkashldhasjkhdas from Linh.
stabbed by Tierah.
called asshole by Has.
a slap from Ain.
who else did I miss? I guess that's it. For now.
Yes I'll admit. I like this guy. Heck, I think I'm in love with him. And I think I'm out of my mind. Because he knows. Yea it felt good letting it go and telling him and all. But the thing is, I hate the fact that he comes online all the time and changes his nick to something that would definitely tick me. AND IT DID. OH BOY DID IT MADE ME GO INSANE.
And God, it also made me go and check my msn list 10 times in a minute. Really. It's ridiculous. I'm supposed to be on a hiatus but this thing is like keeping me up and running. Ohmygod and my playlist is scary like Backstreet-boys-I'll-never-break-your-heart scary. Not that I hate that song but yeah. I've been listening to those kinda songs. Songs that makes me feel even more low?
And there's this one song and it's so the theme song of my situation now. I cried listening to that song a few times and now it just makes me feel sad and stupid.
I have the blue and yellow bracelet-like with me. And it hasnt been out of my sight ever since I found it. Yes I'm using it. It looks weird though everytime I look at it. I'll always have this flashbacks of the times when he gave it to me. And a whole lot more. Sometimes it hurts. Other times it made me smile. I love those times. I missed it. So much.
I missed him. Like I really really miss him. It wasnt the same though we met twice in a row. Or when he jumped right next to me. Because now deep inside I know there's that little feeling. It used to be there too but I never really bother since he was my best friend. It fades over time but still there. It's either I forgot to erase it or it's meant to stay and torture me now.
He hasn't said anything. And it's been 5 days now. I knew I said I dont mind, but I'm also human right? I want to know. Something. Anything. A yes or no or whatever. Give me anything. I'll move on from there. Heh.
Karma does work. And now it's on me. I did the same to him. So yeah. Maybe I deserve this?
Come on man, something at least! Serious, I dont live forever. And I dont really wanna regret something like this again.
Okay. So apparently Val's back. FOR GOOD. He's my ex. He's nice. Also. And he wants to start over. Now, how am I suppose to do that when there's that other one? heh.
Sometimes I wonder why do we get things when we dont need them and when we do, we never get around to can have it. Nature? or is it just we human kinds are never thankful?
Yeah. I'm done.
my heart is all over the world for you...
